For every day...If an adult-of-diminutive-but-stocky-stature looks at you and tells you that they are not happy, do NOT ask them which one they are.
Life grades on a curve.
Turn signals: Not just to look pretty.
Ashtrays: Not for smokers' coins.
It's not that I'm old. Your music really does suck.
"Common sense" isn't.
What Would Scooby Do?
Cheap. Fast. Good. Pick two and call me in the morning.
Peace and Freedom can never coexist for very long. Both, in fact, are illusory as long as there is someone who insists on being the one in control.
"Time is an illusion; lunchtime doubly so." -- Douglas Adams
Anyone who says "it's as easy as X" has probably not attempted X.
Scene 1, Take 2 -- they're small!
Fade to Plaid.
I'm not as you think as I'm drunk.
Drunk is temporary. Ugly is forever.
I got a coffee. The cashier asked me for one fifty. That seemed a bit pricy for a cup of coffee, but she gave me back forty-eight and a half, so I guess it all worked out.
My other car was on Alderaan.
NEVER give the Game Master ideas.
We have strangled ourselves by litigating against innovation.
Why are people so bent on outlawing enjoyment of life?
Raise the bar of education instead of dumbing things down.
Organized Religion: Spirituality with mob mentality and military funding.
"On a clear disk you can seek forever."
"The steady state of disks is full." -- Ken Thompson
"Operator precedence is the property which makes
++*foo->bar;do what you expect. It is also the same property which makes that do what you do not expect." -- me
Just because memory, disk space and CPU speed are cheap is no excuse for shoddy programming.
Contrary to popular belief, UNIX is user-friendly. It just happens to be selective about whom it keeps as friends.
Euphemisms for "user error"
"Eye Dee Ten Tee" (write it out) error.
PICNIC error (Problem In Chair, Not In Computer)
PEBKAC error (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair)
Layer 8 error (see ISO Seven-Layer Network Model)
cki (Chair-Keyboard Interface) error
I'll add to this as I go.